Undoing the Undone

Sometimes it's the little things that inspire us to make changes in our lives. Other times, it's the big things in life that hit close to home and cause us to realize that this life is short and we only get one shot to live the life of our dreams. 

I've taken a little friendly slack from a few of you about how long it's been since I posted and while my good intentions are ALWAYS there, like many things in my life this past year or so, I've allowed other things to steal my time, my vision, my purpose, and my dreams. "I'll get to it" I find myself saying so many times, then another day passes and there's a laundry list of things still left undone. I tend to beat myself up for those undones, to get more frustrated by what I didn't do, than to realize the power I have to just do something on that list the next day.

The end of this past school year (forget it, the whole school year) was a great challenge for me, both personally and professionally. And in the last weeks of school I found myself experiencing the excruciating pain and confusion that accompanies the loss of someone you love. I sat on the sidelines, sometimes lost in my own sadness, watching a family with unimaginable strength, unexpectedly say goodbye to their little girl, to their sweet Anne Marie. 

The same Anne whose namesake lives on in our Anne Elizabeth and whose "Annietude" is alive and well in our beautiful girl as well. And in those moments of grief, sadness, and loss, I realized that there will always be undones in life. There will always be things we cannot control, things we do not understand, things we might wish we could change because surely God didn't mean for it to go this way . . . 


It was in the midst of those final weeks in May I found the book Draw the Circle, or should I say, it found me. 

Struggling with the reality of AnnIe facing her final moments on the earth in the coming days, my sister shared a book with me that has rocked my world in unimaginable ways. NewPointe Church , where my parents and other friends back home are reaching the community of Coshocton, was starting this 40 day prayer challenge called Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson. I'll forgo the details at the moment, but over the course of the next 40 days the book put many things into perspective for me. I was forced to face my tough questions about what had happened to Annie and what the immediate and distant future held for me. I was challenged to think about what I believed and how much faith I had, or didn't, about the dreams in my heart. 

In the coming days and weeks I will share more of my journey, and hopefully drag a few of you along with me, in regards to my first 40 days of Draw the Circle, but I mention it now because there were days I fell behind. There were times that my quiet time became another undone in my day, but that 40 days also taught me that sometimes we can make up for things we've let slide past us. Sometimes we can set a new goal or recommit to complete one that we've put in front of us. I learned that I have the power to influence and change the outcome of at least some of my undones. That 40 days taught me that this life is truly a precious gift and that dreams weren't meant for dark places in our hearts, but they were meant to be lived. If God puts a dream in your heart, He will make it real for you! 

One of our dreams came true in June when I was able to walk away from my full-time teaching job and be a work-from-home-mom. I'm able to pour into our girls and experience life with them every day (even the tough ones!). It was a dream I didn't even realize I had just a few years ago. AdvoCare has been the vehicle that has allowed that to happen for our family. The opportunity to leave a job that was getting the best of me while my family got what was left of me was only a possibility at this time, in this moment, because of the difference we've been able to make in our lives and in the lives of others through AdvoCare.  But it was something I wanted four years ago when Gracie was born. I had to wait. I had to learn some things. I had to experience some hardships, but I got to experience some of the joys along the way too. I had to leave a lot of things undone, feeling at times like life was unraveling, but all the while, God was weaving together a perfect plan in HIS time.

There is so much more on my heart and mind, but there will be other days for sharing. Although our dream it, do it blog was left undone for quite some time, it is one of those things that I look forward to pouring into as I begin to discover how to spend my time in different ways. It's Saturday morning and it's time for a "run" - more to come on that adventure soon - so I will leave you with this: There will always be a laundry list of things to do or finish, but the BIG things, they are NEVER left undone. 

~ dream it. do it. ~ Jeremiah 29:11 ~